Understanding or not

These few months have been an up and down ride. There are plenty of stuff that i thought i knew and understand, only to find out that either i do not understand at all, or maybe i might have simply forgotten about them. The experiences within the past few years seems kind of vague, maybe partly because i just follow through, without being conscious about my environment.

I wonder if it is because i bottled up all my thoughts, such that people think that i have no emotions, such that they can just throw all their feelings onto me. Even though i think that i am starting to be socially conscious, but now i am feeling like i am emotionally unconscious.