Monday, April 06, 2009


So i went for the teaching interview in early March, and i got accepted for contract teaching which will start in July 27th, provided i pass all the pre-req which include a medical checkup.

Actually, i wanted to teach since i graduated from secondary school. I even applied for relief teaching before i got enlisted, but i was too lazy to fill up the application forms when it was sent to me. When in army, my perception changed, i just feel that as i grow older inside the army, teenagers are just an irritating bunch of people to me and they look evil. After getting to university, the majority of lecturers and tutors that i had are really not cut out to teach, maybe that is why people don't call lecturer a teacher, i think it will insult the profession. Lecturers just teach what they know, without considering whether students understand them (i am just sterotyping for ranting). Then, before i went Finland i got my second tuition, the first was my nephew and he was quite lazy, thus i gave up after a while. This second tuition kid, he was ok but lazy too, but at least he was older and taking his O' levels, so probably i can relate better than to a primary school student. Teaching is good for my study, because i can actually start to see the bigger picture of all the topics, which i haven't been able to since i entered university hence my lousy result.

At this moment when i am about to graduate, people asked me if i really want to teach and that teaching is quite stressful. Seriously, in an ideal situation i would want to teach, but in a practical situation, i am not sure because i do not know how it would turn out. Certainly, i am not who i am when i just graduated from secondary school. That was the period of time when i thought that i could really teach and still handle the students. But now, my confidence has been wavering after moving past the teenager phase for so long. I have always think that i can talk relatively well and no problem of talking in front of people. Reaction wise, i consider myself to be fairly fast formulating immediate solution. But, all these four years of university have done nothing but only break my confidence. 2 years of army have been political, but i handled it and emerged in one piece. My confidence from secondary school has always been being the best among the average, but when fighting against the better and elite, it has really been hard. And now, i am going to embark into the academic world as an untrained teacher, to find my lost confidence, or continue to be lost.

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