Mood swing

So i'm having my usual mood swing again, though the reasons are probably a bit different from usual. I thought that after settling down my mind i can decide where i should go from here, but apparently my mind has not settle down and i'm still lost in the middle of no where.

Especially with the holidays here, as much as i want to spend the time usefully, but majority of myself want to slack instead. And i keep having the usual problem of mind and behaviour doesnt match together. So i hate changes, so as much as possible i never want my life to change. And even if there needs to be changes, i will have to cushion the impacts as much as possible. Probably because i'm always avoiding what i want to do, i never actually thought of any goals that i want and only have what others want me to achieve. So this is normally the case for a lot of people i guess, during the transition period when you have to go into the society. But apparently i focusing on the wrong things but yet i do not want to face it.

I always believe that there will always be time for everything, be it studying or working and somethings once you missed it you will never be able to experience it again in the future. So will i grow out of it? or will it haunts me forever until i face it and settle it once and for all. I know there is a chance that i'm finding excuses or rather forging reasons, but whether i will find out the answer will be a mystery that is yet to unravel.

P.S. The stupid gay stuffs in desperate housewives is getting so out of hand.